A Fresh Approach to New Year’s Resolutions.

Something recently dawned on me while listening to one of those ubiquitous New Year’s resolution discussions between some folks on the radio. If the news stories are correct and anywhere between 75% and 98% of all New Year’s Resolutions will fail, we all need a fresh approach. And I have it. The Reverse Resolution.

If you are going to fail miserably at keeping your resolution, then resolve to do more of the behavior you want to change about yourself.

Smoke? Resolve to smoke 4 packs a day.
Poor Diet? Resolve to eat a pizza for breakfast and McDonald’s for dinner and keep nary a green vegetable in the fridge.
Couch Potato? Resolve to sit your lard ass on the couch for a minimum of 5 hours a night.
Drinker? Resolve to have a three martini lunch every day.
Grumpy? Resolve to insult/infuriate more people daily.

At worst, you will eventually grow tired of trying to keep your Reverse Resolutions within a week or ten days. You’ll go back to being the person you are. No harm, no foul.

But just maybe, by committing yourself to exaggerating the wicked behavior you wish to change about yourself, you will repulse yourself and find that you really should make that fundamental change in behavior. And as anyone who has undertaken a home remodeling project knows, you need to demolish the old structure and sweep out the sawdust and bent nails before you can rebuild.

So, with that said, I’m off to crack open a beer and sit on the couch with a bag of donuts.

Happy New Year.