Some people just don’t understand….

When I began my study of mediation and negotiation in earnest last year, I read that Americans (in particular) get bored or frustrated with negotiations that proceed past offer and counter-offer. In a wired-in, on-demand, point-click-shop culture, the idea of bargaining simply turns people off. As a result, people simply just don’t understand how to negotiate. Wednesday’s small claims mediation was a case in point.

It was a small matter, a dispute over an advance paid to a vendor to provide certain services. After the vendor completed a small percentage of the work, a dispute arose between the parties and the vendor ceased work. The plaintiff felt that he was entitled to his advance back. The vendor felt he was entitled to be paid of his time and effort to date.

The plaintiff admitted early in the mediation that the defendant had performed some of the work and was entitled to some compensation for that work. Optimistic, I asked to caucus with the defendant and learned that he had made an offer to settle about a month earlier. After discussing that offer for a while, he told me to make an offer that was 25% less than the pre-mediation offer.

Having a party make a lower offer than a pre-mediation settlement attempt is not a typical occurrence but it is not terribly unusual either. I assumed that the initial offer was closer to his final position and he wanted some room to move. Fine. I can work with that.

The plaintiff seemed pleased with the offer and made a decent counter offer, knocking about 40% off the initial demand. I thought that we were on to something. We were moving.

Then, I took the new demand into the defendant’s room and all logic and reason vanished.

For some reason, he decided he now wanted to offer less than any of his previous offers – half his pre-mediation offer. Yes. You read that right. Half.

It reminded me of the negotiation I once had with my father about a curfew. Every time I objected or counter-offered, he made the curfew a half-hour earlier.

Needless to say, neither negotiation ended well.

As an aside, I am beginning to think the ADR coordinator at this particular courthouse dislikes me. The last time I was there, she gave me a case involving twin siblings who would barely speak to each other. That ended in impasse as well.