Mediation “Reality” TV Revisited

The concept of the mediation-themed reality TV show has reared its ugly head yet again. As noted by Geoff Sharp and Vickie Pynchon, Jerry Lazar and Richard Kilnger (who makes a guest appearance in my comment section to defend the concept but conveniently forgets to mention he has a “piece of the action”), have been shopping a show called The Peacemaker.

According to the article, “The show has not proved an instant winner with television executives. . . . Lazar said he tries to emphasize the personal drama of mediations – a combination, as he puts it, of “Jerry Springer” and “Dr. Phil” – but realizes it is difficult to explain. ”

I’m on record as thinking this is stupid idea. And it appears that Hollywood may agree (for whatever reason).

Reality TV shows garner ratings by creating conflict – whether naturally or artificially: Taking food from starving castaways; Putting incompetent chefs in with experienced ones; pitting gold-digging strippers in trumped up “contests” to win the bed of an aging hair metal star. It’s contrived and it’s meant to appeal to our baser instinct. Even a show with a laudable goal – helping morbidly obese individuals lose weight – creates conflict by dangling Snickers bars, lasagna and french fries front of the newly slimmed down contestants.

As a colleague of mine said when I described the concept, “This show will only get viewers, advertisers, and top ratings if it depicts and exploits the dark side of conflict. No one gives a shit about the feel-good resolution at the end.”

This show will not raise awareness of mediation as a legitimate dispute resolution process any more than Judge Judy has helped steer litigants towards arbitration or Dr. Phil (or Sallie Jessie or Montel or Donohue or Oprah) have helped people with disabilities or mental illness seek counseling.

Frankly, I don’t want to spend the next 10 years of my career telling people, “No, its not just like on The Peacemaker.”

Positive Attitude in Mediation

Nancy Hudgins has an excellent post for mediation advocates on her Civil Negotiation and Mediation blog entitled “Adjust Your Attitude: Go Positive!”

Nancy writes

Mediation calls upon us to use a different skill set. One that is more collegial, cooperative and collaborative. Best to leave the attack dog persona at home.

I couldn’t agree more.  In my experience, the cases that settle have parties that adopt a reasonable, objective and cooperative approach.  They realize that mediation is not adversarial and that acting like a bulldog/shark/warrior is counterproductive.

I recently entered a mediation where the plaintiff had the defendant dead to rights.  An iron clad promissory note, a clear default over a period of months and no affirmative defenses other than falling on hard times.  But the plaintiff and their lawyer realized that you can’t get blood from a stone.  They worked with the defendant to renegotiate terms that all could live with.  The plaintiff has to wait a bit longer to get his money but he felt it better than sending his lawyer to the courthouse to file post-judgment motions and seek garnishments and liens which might turn up nothing.

Europe moves to stifle free speech on the internet.

According to the ABA Journal Law Blog (quoting the WSJ), Europe has moved to ban so-called

flogs (fake blogs), AstroTurf (alleged grass-roots campaigns run by corporations) and lobbying campaigns featuring sock puppets (individuals who post under numerous aliases)

Is this such a rampant problem that European legislators have nothing better to do than prohibit this?  And how criminal of an activity is this that prison time is a possibility for violating this “law.”  What’s next?  Prison time for James Frey and Margaret B. Jones?

This would never abide here.  Or would it?

Remember.

Today is Memorial Day here in the United States.  Remember those honored many who gave their lives for liberty.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

–Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)

A Nice Testimonial.

I was humbled today to receive this very kind testimonial from a recent client, Mr. Ed Danowitz, a local attorney.  It is always nice to be recognized.  Thank you for your kind words.

Kicked out of a joint session?

Over the last year, I’ve been asked numerous times to leave a caucus so that attorney and client can speak privately.  That’s normal.  Attorneys do this for various reasons- keep the “bottom line” from the mediator, allow the attorney to arm-twist his client without appearing too eager to settle in front of the mediator.   I did it myself as advocate.

But I’d never been asked to leave a joint session . . . until this past Monday.

The parties were 99% of the way to settlement.  The total settlement was agreed upon, but some issues remained regarding allocation of payments between the two defendants and a payment schedule.   I was a little skeptical given some of the heated exchanges when the mediation started – three hours earlier; but things had quieted down.  I questioned the parties at length whether this was something they wanted to do and they insisted they could “work it out” themselves.  I reluctantly agreed only because the parties had a prior relationship and the lines of communication had re-opened over the course of the mediation.  Thankfully, it resulted in a settlement that everyone seemed pleased with.

Never again, though.  Too many chances for the deal to fall apart.

Capitol Hill Comedians

I don’t typically stray into politics, but I saw this piece among my morning reading and found some of the answers quite funny. Political website The Hill sent a reporter to ask – the 97 Senators who aren’t running for President whether they would like to be Vice President. I thought it was an interesting take on the “man on the street” questions you tend to see in small town newspapers (or The Onion). Most of the answers were variations on: “I’d be flattered,” “I don’t want to be presumptious”, “I would definitely consider it an honor,” or “I’m proud to represent the people from the great State of Apathy blah…blah…blah.”

Some of the Senators actually have a sense of humor though:

Sen. Bob Bennett (R-Utah)
“Of course. Big house, big car, not much to do. Why not?”

Sen. Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.)
“I do not enjoy spending a lot of time at ‘undisclosed locations.’ ”

Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-Wash.)
“Does that include any sports picks or anything like that?”

Sen. Tom Carper (D-Del.)
“Yes. Sign me up. I’ve been kidding people for years: The hours are better, the wages are just as good — whoever heard of a vice president getting shot at? — and it’s a great opportunity to travel.”

Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho)
“I would say ‘No, Hillary.’ ” [Ed. Note - He shouldn't scoff - he needs a job]

Sen. Judd Gregg (R-N.H.)
“No. I don’t like going to funerals.” – [Ed. note This was my favorite.]

Sen. Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii)
“If I were asked, I would say, ‘You’re out of your mind.’ ”

Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.)
“I plan to stick with my current job until I get the hang of it.” [Ed. Note - I won't swing at the softball Teddy Boy just pitched]

Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.)
“I already have the T-shirt.”

Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska)
“My 16-year-old thinks it’s a fabulous idea because he thinks we probably couldn’t find any better residence in Washington, D.C., than the Naval Observatory.”

Sen. Pat Roberts (R-Kan.)
“No. I don’t cut ribbons well or give eulogies at funerals.”

Sen. Roger Wicker (R-Miss.)
“The chances of that are so remote that I’m more likely to be hit by an asteroid.”

Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.)
“I have a unique perspective on this. I am the only senator to have announced I am not running for president because there should be someone here to serve as the Senate’s designated driver. ”

Last minute cancellation blues.

On Monday, I felt really good about the week.  I had 6 cases on the schedule. Three of which were at a decent hourly rate (I agreed to reduce my normal fee to accept court-referred cases from several exurban counties).  In the last 24 hours, I’ve had 3 of the 4 set for Thursday and Friday cancel.  Just when I thought I’d turned a corner.  I guess I have to take the good with the bad.

Is anyone else disturbed by the idea of a “Judge Judy” style mediation TV show?

This morning I found a post in my news alert advertising mediation domain names for sale. As I poked around further on the site, I found the following post:

Cases Needed for TV Show

For a new mediation-themed reality show, we’re looking for “Judge Judy” types of cases in Southern California — involving neighbors or family members or co-workers or a retailer-customer conflict or a landlord-tenant dispute or, well, you get the idea. If you know of such a situation, and the parties are willing to waive confidentiality in exchange for having their dispute settled for free, please let us know.

Does this disturb anyone else?  Reality shows, whether in a courtroom, a hermetically sealed house or a desert island, thrive on conflict and confrontation, two of the very things that we are taught as mediators to avoid so that the parties can reach an agreement.  This is ridiculous.

A little humor at the expense of the University [sic] of Georgia.

If you read my bio, you know I am a proud graduate of the Georgia Institute of Technology, more commonly known as Georgia Tech or simply, Tech.  For well over 100 years, we have had a robust rivalry with our intrastate rival, the University [sic] of Georgia.  Not just at sports, but in life as well.

This picture pretty much sums up that rivalry.

In case you can’t read the small print, the ever witty Dawg fans drew a sign pointing to the Tech dugout that reads “Nerds” and one of our players responded with a sign pointing up that reads “Our future employees.”

FYI, Tech crushed the 8th ranked Dawgs 11-1.  On their home field.

And with barely 150 words, I just alienated all of the UGA and UGA law grads in Atlanta.  Next week, FSU and UF grads…..