6 Responses to “Is anyone else disturbed by the idea of a “Judge Judy” style mediation TV show?”

1. Richard Klinger | May 13th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
   

   Maybe you feel that the general public is aware of mediation’s potential; maybe you believe that people think about mediating before they think about suing; maybe cases just fill up your voice mail. If this is true, I can understand how you could think a reality show around mediation is ridiculous.
   I believe that what we mediators need to do (besides being committed to our profession) is to spread the word about the wonderful powers of mediation as a tool of peaceful resolution of conflict.
   I don’t know about you, but I contribute pro bono services evry week to our county small claims court. What I see is the rawest form of conflict. It is almost like living a tv reality show. I say “bravo” to anyone who brings this drama to public attention, because they will also see the ability of a mediator to calm the storm and bring about peaceful resolution in more cases than not. Think about it!

2. Vickie | May 29th, 2008 at 11:59 am
   

   Chris,

   You suggest that mediators are supposed to avoid “conflict and confrontation.” That’s not what I was taught.

   Conflict is what we do for a living and it has many beneficial effects. What would have happened if Rosa Parks — and thousands like her — had not been willing to create conflict and confront the inhumane segregation laws of her time?

   As Ken Cloke says, there are five responses to conflict — denial, avoidance, engagement, transformation and transcendence. We must break through denial and avoidance before we can even get the parties to the bargaining table.

   Mediation — and the law — are all about messy, unpredictable and sometimes hilarious human conflict. Let’s open up the doors and windows to see whether people find the mediation process a better way to go than Judge Judy’s disrespectful and sarcastic response to people in crisis.

   Best,

   Vickie

3. Christopher Annunziata | May 29th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
   

   You write:

   “Mediation — and the law — are all about messy, unpredictable and sometimes hilarious human conflict.”

   I find it exploitative to put real people in situations where others find humor in their plight. This is not the same as a dozen attention seeking bimbos or himbos fighting for the affections of a rock star or bisexual tart or battling to “survive” on a faux desert island. These are people with ostensibly real problems, real disputes. Condensing this to 22 minutes is disrespectful and offensive both to them and the profession.

   If you think “open[ing] up the doors and windows” is such a great idea, suggest that to the parties the next time you have a mediation. Ask them if you can tape the session and air it on your blog, or better yet, sell it to Mr. Lazar. I doubt they’ll agree that it’s such a great idea.

   This is absolutely the wrong kind of publicity for mediation and mediators. I would bet that most self-respecting psychologists and psychiatrists have a similar reaction to “Dr.” Phil.

   Again, it looks like we will have to agree to disagree.

4. Christopher Annunziata | May 29th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
   

   As for “avoiding” conflict, perhaps I should have written that it is our job, our duty as mediators, to minimize conflict. I don’t know how you go about doing your job as a mediator, but I find it counter-productive to allow parties to “create conflict and confront” each other during a session.

   Which brings me to your “example” of Rosa Parks. That was a specious argument, at best. A sad rhetorical trick. Nobody was suggesting that people with legitimate grievances should lie down like lambs.

   What I am suggesting is simply this:

   Reality TV shows garner ratings by creating conflict – whether naturally or artificially. Mediators work best by reducing conflict and ameliorating disputes. I find that the two are mutually exclusive.

5. Vickie | May 29th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
   

   Chris,

   Obviously, this struck a chord. Because I haven’t seen Jerry’s pilot yet, I’m withholding my own judgment, if any, until I do.

   As to creating conflict, engaging in confrontational tactics and the like, I don’t think either of us can do the subject justice in a series of blog comments. Please know, however, that I take your sentiments, your objections and your feelings about the matter quite seriously and respectfully.

   All best,

   Vickie

6. Christopher Annunziata | May 29th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
   

   Vickie:

   I have said just about all I want to say on this topic. I appreciate that you know these gentlemen and why you want to reserve judgment. No hard feelings. I just think this is a bad idea, just like anything that follows the words, “Hey, Billy Ray Jim Bob, WATCH THIS!”

   C